Victory is mine!!

!HEY YOUR CRAZY BITCH!

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 18:01:28 GMT

CRAZY BITCH

By Josh Todd

Break me down, you got a lovely face going to your place now you got to freak me out

Scream so loud, getting fucking laid you want me to stay but I got to make my way

Hey! You’re a crazy bitch but you fuck so good I’m on top of it

When I dream I’m doing you all night scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Take it off, the paper is your game jump in bed with fame another one night paid in full

You’re so fine, It won’t be a loss cashing in the rocks just to get you face to face

(Chorus)

Get the video, fuck you so good

(Chorus)

Baby girl you want it hard to be a star you’ll get down on it

Take it off no need to talk your crazy but I like the way you fuck me

(Chorus)

OMG!!!

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 07:27:03 GMT

(thats oh my god for you non geeks out there....oh nm....) so this could be a long   LONG ass post if I was to explain how hard it is to be high as SHIT.....I mean blown away baked.....you get the idea.......and get to post. so anyway Scott showed me something she was working on, a NEW spin on a AWESOME opener guitar SOLO.   anyway it was fucking awesome what she can do on the drums.   just holy shit and all of that. so anyway I was thinking to myself that.....

1)...I'm in need of serious help, like call in the BIG guns and spend some time with N8. so I plan to do so, and also get some awesome lyric help to make what scott did sober, and turn it into what I CAN SEE it becoming.

2) ok so I could be doing a lot more drugs but if this keeps up....well its looking grim...thats all I gots to say on that

3) I have my plan and I'm sticking to it, so I need the guidence of the mentor himself, yoda himself.   maybe a bit more broken, but never the less YODA.

so YEAH, I am so baked....its AWESOME... lol    and yet more lol. cause I'm high......lol

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 21:40:20 GMT

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ)

You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.
Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules.

You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.
You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you.

A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.
You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up.

In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly.

At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.

With others, you tend to be polite and formal.

As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.

On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

boom! like this!

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 21:25:52 GMT

ok so good news first- HAD a friggin BLAST at the club house with a bunch of people at the clubhouse late late last night. WAS REALLY high and got to break for a while, got to jam out to music and just shoot the shit with some people that Scott knows. it was a BLAST. showed up two black guys which is always nice for my white ass here, since the word on the street is that white people can't dance, which for the most part is true. just maybe not this white guy.

the bad news is that I may have put....um....a little too much stress on my brand new knee and pulled something however with my drug intake on a high note I can't really feel anything wrong, but of course I do not feel anything as of late so I'm just going to say its all good untill the thing falls off.

as for me and work- good I am a acting part of our management team for the next year or so, then its off to school and then maybe end up in Gerogia. who knows.

I will say as a side note that Scott is really a nice person, well once she stops trying to be everything she is not. and more to the point not really the time or place.....which is really cool cause shes not aggressive, not at least as much as she was.

clubbing with X

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 20:46:11 GMT

so went out last night, I was off for the entire day and ended up at some clubs downtown. well we shall say that I had a blast did some drugs and almost went home with EVERYone. but overall had a great time. notice that I almost stopped drinking all together however my rate of drug consumption has dubbleled and I smoke twice as much. nice to see I can ballance out. lol

with chris out of town I'm free to do lots of shit.

and boy are we getting them down. oh yes.

and for the record

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 20:06:59 GMT

just to be clear, yes I have a oppion on the current events within my personal life. oh boy do I have one, however the simple version is here.

not suprised at how this one turned out, without contact in any shape or form this was doomed to fall apart. my sister journal www.livejournal.com/users/apathypd was the cause of most of the problems on her end, however true and honest the journal is, it still was the straw the broke the camels back. I have noticed a trend, I seldom have a relationship that lasts past a year, I have been lucky with one, but for the most part I aparently become absoultly annoying after a year and thus why I tend to be single most of my life. although this was not a simple relationship I was in and trust me there is plenty of blame that falls on me and on her, plenty. and this one I could talk on for hours, what went wrong and where, the point that the relationship ended, and list goes on. it comes down to when you stop talking to eachother and stop seeing eachother there really is only so much time before basic insatinct says its over. and this was over, before shit hit the fan, the moment we stoped seeing eachother and talking once a month this thing ended. and just to clear this up I should ask, is it cheating, if you date one person while going out with another? of course physical contact out of the question. and yes I knew about it.....yes I said it was alright.....but it really wasn't, that was my way of holding on to something I had already lost.

anyway you really want to know how I feel than comment and I'll let you know

2007

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 19:15:34 GMT

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My goal is to be more fucked up, and less aware than last year. I want to look back at this year and say
well fuck, I just don't remember what happened.

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 21:33:43 GMT

Your World View

You are a moralist with conventional ideas, which some people would call old-fashioned.
You probably think that most of the world falls badly below your standards.
Your inhibitions and sense of guilt are in the way of your happiness.

You think that people tend to use sex for evil, as a weapon.
Your parents probably played a big part in the formation of such a guilt complex as yours.
Your mind is in chains, and it's time you did something to free it.

What Is Your World View?

Christmas

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 21:23:31 GMT

merry christmas everyone!

well why not!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:37:35 GMT

Matchbox 20

"and when my smile gets old and faded
wait around I'll smile again"

"shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me and then
just hold me again"

"you're breaking me in
and this is how we will end
with you and me bent"

"start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces
start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in"

"shouldn't be so complicated"

Foo Fighters

"I'm looking to the sky to save me."

"Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying"

Crossfade

"Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win"

"What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am"

"Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again"

"I never meant to be so cold"

"I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold"

Rob Thomas

"and I'll be there for you if you'll be there for
me forever its you
forever in me
ever the same"

"But I can only give you love"

Stonesour

"Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home"

"Just listen to the noises (no more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember its just different from what you've seen."

All American Rejects

"And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all."

"My minds unweaving"

"I can’t explain what you can’t explain."

"Just a little insight won't make this right"

"It’s better than being on your side"

"All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know"

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 09:03:32 GMT

You Are a German Shepherd Puppy

Intelligent, quick witted, and a bit aggressive.
You've got the jaw power to take a bite out of anyone you choose.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Just read

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 09:13:34 GMT

read this and read it however you want. cause at least I know how this is ment.

"I can't explain myself at all..."

"I can't explain, what you can't explain..."

"Its my fault when your blind..."

All American Rejects

"I can see I never really got it right...."

"I'm sorry for the way I am..."

"I never really wanted you to see the screwed up side of me, that I keep locked inside of me soo deep, it always seems to get to me. I never really wanted you to go, Theres one thing for you to know, I never ment to be so cold.

Crossfade

"my weakness is, that I care too much..."

"I offered you my hand, compassion is in my nature..."

"Go fix yourself..."

Popa Roach

"I need you now, do think you can cope..."

"you figured me out, I'm lost and I'm hopeless, bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken..."

"so are you going to stand there or are you going to help me out..."

Matchbox 20

"All the bridges you burn leave you trapped off at all sides..."

"its just your doubt that blinds you..."

"Don't run away, Stop feeling fine, its better than your wost day..."

"don't run away..."

"change your mind..."

All American Rejects

pictures

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 19:23:52 GMT

so I was looking through pictures of people I know (I guess) and the problem is I don't remember anyone in these pictures. it is odd.

there is a lot of stuff I'm not really clear on as of late. things are out of place and odd. random phone calls from people who aparently I know. (currently for the life of me I can't remember them. its kinda odd is all.

so I got ETM this month and with a bit of luck ETE next month. followed closely by ADRM if I can pull it off.

have you ever had a phone call were nothing makes sence and you didn't even know the caller. yeah well I got that. sucky!

ahhh then stuff

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 22:22:43 GMT

ok so I had no real title in mind for this post....so I just confused you instead. lol. well had fun today jaming with the band. did some new music, or new for us, we tried old school hip hip and it was really fun.

um not much to report otherwise....."give me the damn pills!" house

yeah so I take a LOT of medication. its like I'm on life support without the damn wires and bix beeping box. thats a nice positive thought for all of you who were excited that this post started off happy. HAHAHA.

so life is just as it always seems to go.....not good, not horrid.....just below fine I'd say.

I'm back!

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 22:06:28 GMT

first off, please read this! somehow my email was hacked so please send a email to my new account so I can put you in my contacts!

that being said, I can WALK.

excited.

drugs are still in my system so this will be short.

in my defence no one pushes a girl....or in any way threatens her while I'm around. though I wouldn't say I lost that fight more that it was just more expensive to win on my behalf. and seriously its not like scott can't fend for herself, its just that I can fight I just have a thing about not fighting.

fuck

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 21:02:56 GMT

yeah so this is the 2nd attempt to post today.

so in short, I take a lot of medication, yeah twice as much as b-4 and so I've found out that I don't have to think since my medication thinks for me.

my life sucks

I need a vaction not from work, but from what I come home to after work.

I just confirmed my classes at jeff state for EMT

chris is on a war path so avoid him

and holy hell do I miss illeagle drugs, you know the ones that make you so just content (yes the correct answer is weed or shrooms) Cause man I need some of all of that.

yey, me

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 08:21:43 GMT

ok so maybe I am just bit alone. no real friends, and hope.....whats left of that. oh well, yey being depressed and unhappy all night.

fuck life and its shittyness

but I can only give you love-rob thomas

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 08:09:04 GMT

"It Ends Tonight"

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when your blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 18:34:40 GMT

View Poll: Jedi Knights Poll

update!

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 07:36:38 GMT

yes its true, I signed up for classes for my EMT licence. things are looking slowly and surely more gray so its time for me to put it all together and do what I do best and help everyone else and say fuck it to myslef. yeah chris got me in touch with a director of operations in the SE of AMR (American Medical Responce) the leading Company in America for EMS transport. excited but the classes are REALLY hard and the closest AMR base is in alatanta GA so if I get past the SUPER hard course and 6months of EMT work here in alabama than I might be off to GA for city life and a REAL life. helping people, and living like it matters.

The Fray
Cable Car

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

normal Giving

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 18:17:36 GMT

well its thanksgiving, yet another thing I could care less about. along with my bday and xmas. YEY. well with Scott hitting on me again (yes kids thats April "scott" west, for the record) and a big DeVon party I might go to.....I'm excited that I might bail to see amber, I need some serious advice and thats what she is good at. she should be a theripest......but then she couldn't smile all the damn time. lol :)

though as a side note Scott has gotten so much better than she was a while back. not Nicole by any means but much bettter than she was. hey I give props where they are deserved.

my last 2 weeks are nothing but fuzzy. could be the drinking at night I do but its getting a bit hard to keep up with whats going on. and what day it is, and so on and so fourth.

well happy thanksgiving everybody!

007

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 18:49:57 GMT

saw 007 last night, and was impressed. not quite the normal james bond film but very well played and directed. loved it.

chris got pissed cause aparently I am not so careful over my weekends and do as he would call "stupid" things.

but honestly did lots of stupid things. almost had fun doing them.

now I'm off to see if I have to work today cause really I have no idea.

if you have ever come to bham for so fun and you hang around a guy named joe, chances are your not really going to have the much fun. just to clear that one up.

Stone Sour

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 07:27:57 GMT

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh, God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel?
That is the question
But I forget
You don't expect an easy answer

When something like a soul
Becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect the bitter folks
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
All I know is that it feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real
So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
And if that came from the heart
It never did, right from the start
Just listen to the noises(Now I'm more, instead of voices)

Before You tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Now all I know is that feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Now all I know is that it feels like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars... the stars... that shine for you
And it's the stars... the stars... that lie to you

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh, God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause' I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars... the stars... that shine for you
And it's the stars... the stars... that lie to you
And it's the stars... the stars... that shine for you
And it's the stars... the stars... that lie to you

Oh, when the stars... Oh, when the stars... they lie

ok so bold and italics would be annoying, so this is how I feel....exactly now as my personal life is sitting. yeah any deeper than that there is nothing. look at me being way too damn open. YeY

life in short

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 21:00:16 GMT

so yes Blue Revolver has a VIP show at the other clubhouse. its should be fucking awesome. I need to just fucking ROCK out. all VIP show with CCC LesCo and the normal and other VIP of this small band.

fuck me, its been a week. I'm actually a bit upset we lost another manager at work and thats going to kill us. we are down to a GM, KM, and JK. we have a few ADRM like becca (whos a bitch) Cory and Ian and we have a wild card Chad who might or might not deal with it. so....looks like I might be able to move up with some good luck I don't have.

I need to get out. of life but aparently Chris isn't happy about this weekend so.....just all around fucked up. oh well. its not that bad, nor is it that great.

answer the phone

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 06:54:05 GMT

Sugar Ray

We're on this rollercoaster ride Hold on
I'll stay here by your side
We head up to the sky then we slide back down
Upside down try to figure out
Not sure if we could work it out
I wanna be alone but you feel like home

Answer the phone, I know that you're home
I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again
Answer the phone, I know that you're home
I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again

The signals all are flashing red
It doesn't matter what was said
This bed is much too big without me and you
This all seems so ridiculous
Why can't we just get over this
Don't make me say the obvious
Without you

Answer the phone, I know that you're home
I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again
Answer the phone, I know that you're home
I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again

I practice all my lines to a telephone while you were sleeping
I remember the way you curled your toes
On the side of the stage at all our shows
And the glow on your face just because of one rose
And when I wake up in the morning and you're wearing my clothes

Answer the phone, I know that you're home
I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again
Answer the phone, I know that you're home
I wanna get you alone, and do it again, do it again
Do it again, do it again and do it again, do it again
I wanna do it again, do it again and do it again, do it again